Our Ethical Framework
Code of Accompaniment
The ethical commitments shared by every spiritual director listed in this directory. Rooted in the historic Christian faith, this Code establishes the standards of confidentiality, boundaries, competence, and accountability that directees deserve and directors embrace.
The practice of spiritual direction is among the oldest ministries of the Christian Church. From the Desert Mothers and Fathers of the fourth century, through the great mystics of the medieval period, to the formation programs of our own time, the Church has recognized that the journey toward God is not meant to be walked alone.
This Code of Accompaniment establishes the ethical commitments shared by every spiritual director listed in this directory. It is rooted in the historic Christian faith as expressed in the Nicene Creed — the confession that has united Catholic, Orthodox, and Protestant believers since 325 AD.
We use the word accompaniment deliberately. The spiritual director does not lead from above but walks alongside. The true Director of every soul is the Holy Spirit. The human director's role is to listen — to the directee, to the movement of God, and to the sacred space between them.
Every director listed on FindSpiritualDirector.com has affirmed this Code. It is not a mere formality. It is a covenant — with the directees who trust them, with the wider body of Christ, and with God, in whose presence all spiritual direction takes place.
Theological Foundation
The Nicene Creed is the theological foundation of this directory. It is not a litmus test, nor a tool for exclusion. It is the oldest shared confession of Christian faith — affirmed across Catholic, Orthodox, and Protestant traditions since 325 AD. Every director listed on FindSpiritualDirector.com affirms this Creed as an expression of their faith in the Triune God.
This foundation does not require uniformity of belief on every theological question. Directors may hold diverse views on matters of ecclesiology, sacramental theology, eschatology, and pastoral practice. What unites them is the shared confession that God is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and that the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ is at the center of the Christian story.
A. Common Ground, Not Uniformity
The Creed provides common ground without demanding theological uniformity. Directors from a wide range of traditions — Catholic, Anglican, Reformed, Wesleyan, Pentecostal, Orthodox, and others — can serve together because they share this ancient confession. The directory honors that breadth.
B. No Proselytizing
Spiritual direction is not evangelism, and the direction relationship is not a recruitment opportunity. Directors must not use the trust of the direction relationship to pressure directees toward a particular denomination, congregation, movement, or theological position. The director’s role is to help the directee attend to the movement of God in their own life — not to redirect that movement toward the director’s preferences.
C. Welcoming Explorers
Some directees come to spiritual direction as committed believers. Others are exploring, doubting, returning, or searching. Directors listed on this site commit to welcoming all of these — meeting people where they are, without pressure to arrive at a predetermined conclusion. The Holy Spirit is the true director of every soul. The human director’s task is to listen, not to lead.
Key Principles
- The Nicene Creed is the shared theological foundation of this directory
- Directors may not proselytize or pressure directees toward any denomination
- Explorers, doubters, and seekers are welcomed without condition
- The Holy Spirit is the true Director of every soul
Confidentiality and Its Limits
Confidentiality is the bedrock of the spiritual direction relationship. What a directee shares in a direction session is held in sacred trust. Directors must not disclose information shared in direction to any person — including spouses, clergy, supervisors, or fellow directors — without the explicit, informed consent of the directee.
This standard of confidentiality extends to the very existence of the direction relationship itself. A director should not disclose that a particular person is their directee without that person’s permission. Notes taken during or after sessions must be stored securely and destroyed when no longer needed.
A. Standard of Confidentiality
All information shared in direction is confidential. This includes personal disclosures, prayer experiences, doubts, struggles, relational conflicts, and any other content of the direction conversation. The director may discuss themes from direction in supervision, but only in ways that protect the directee’s identity unless the directee has given explicit permission.
B. Limits of Confidentiality
Confidentiality is not absolute. Directors are ethically obligated — and in many jurisdictions legally required — to break confidentiality when there is a credible threat of harm to the directee or to others, when there is evidence of abuse (particularly of minors or vulnerable adults), and when required by law (such as court orders or mandatory reporting statutes). Directors must inform directees of these limits at the outset of the relationship.
C. Data and Records
Any records kept by the director — session notes, intake forms, correspondence — must be stored securely and handled with the same care as confidential therapeutic records. Directors should have a clear policy for how long records are retained and how they are disposed of. Digital records must be encrypted or password-protected.
Key Principles
- What is shared in direction is held in sacred trust
- The existence of the relationship itself is confidential
- Confidentiality must be broken when there is risk of harm, abuse, or legal obligation
- Records must be stored securely and disposed of responsibly
Boundaries
The spiritual direction relationship is a relationship of trust, vulnerability, and unequal power. The directee opens their interior life to the director, and this creates a sacred responsibility. Directors must maintain appropriate boundaries in every dimension of the relationship — emotional, physical, sexual, financial, and relational.
Boundary violations are among the most harmful things that can happen in spiritual direction. They betray trust, damage the directee’s relationship with God, and undermine the integrity of the ministry itself. Directors must be vigilant about boundary maintenance and bring any concerns to supervision immediately.
A. Emotional Boundaries
Directors must not foster emotional dependence in their directees. The goal of spiritual direction is to help the directee grow in their own relationship with God — not to become the center of the directee’s spiritual life. Directors must recognize when transference or counter-transference is occurring and address it in supervision.
B. Physical and Sexual Boundaries (Zero Tolerance)
Any sexual contact between a director and a directee is a grave violation of trust and is absolutely prohibited. This includes sexual intercourse, sexual touching, sexually suggestive language, romantic pursuit, and any behavior that sexualizes the direction relationship. This prohibition applies during the direction relationship and for a reasonable period afterward. There are no exceptions. Any director found to have violated this boundary will be permanently removed from the directory.
C. Financial Boundaries
Directors must not accept gifts of significant value from directees, enter into business relationships with directees, or allow financial entanglements to compromise the direction relationship. Fee arrangements must be transparent and established at the beginning of the relationship.
D. Dual Relationships
Directors should avoid providing spiritual direction to people with whom they have other significant relationships — close friends, family members, employees, supervisees, or parishioners over whom they hold authority. Where dual relationships are unavoidable (as in small communities), the director must be especially attentive to power dynamics and seek additional supervision.
Key Principles
- Directors maintain appropriate emotional, physical, financial, and relational boundaries
- Any sexual contact between director and directee is absolutely prohibited (zero tolerance)
- Emotional dependence must be recognized and addressed
- Dual relationships require heightened awareness and additional supervision
Competence and Ongoing Formation
Spiritual direction is a skilled ministry that requires formation, practice, and ongoing learning. Directors listed on this site have completed recognized formation programs and commit to continuing their professional and spiritual development throughout their practice.
Competence in spiritual direction involves theological knowledge, psychological awareness, skilled listening, familiarity with the classical spiritual traditions, and the personal maturity that comes from doing one’s own inner work. It is not static — it must be cultivated over a lifetime.
A. Initial Formation
Directors must have completed a recognized formation program in spiritual direction. This may include programs offered by seminaries, religious orders, retreat centers, or accredited institutes such as the Shalem Institute, Mercy Center, the Cenacle, San Francisco Theological Seminary, or comparable programs. The formation must include supervised practicum experience.
B. Continuing Education
Directors commit to ongoing formation through reading, retreats, workshops, peer learning groups, and continued study. The landscape of spiritual direction evolves, and directors must stay current with developments in theology, psychology, cultural competence, and best practices in the field.
C. Scope of Practice
Directors must practice within the bounds of their training and competence. Spiritual direction is not psychotherapy, pastoral counseling, or crisis intervention — though it may touch on themes that overlap with all three. Directors must recognize when a directee’s needs exceed their competence and refer appropriately.
Key Principles
- Directors must hold recognized formation in spiritual direction
- Ongoing education and formation are required, not optional
- Directors practice within the bounds of their competence
- Spiritual direction is not therapy — directors must know the difference
Referral Obligations
One of the most important ethical obligations a spiritual director holds is the willingness to refer. Not every director is the right fit for every directee. Not every need that surfaces in direction is best met by direction alone. Knowing when and how to refer is a mark of professional maturity and genuine care for the directee’s well-being.
Directors must never allow attachment to the relationship, financial considerations, or personal pride to prevent them from making a necessary referral. The directee’s welfare always comes first.
A. When to Refer
Directors should refer when the directee’s needs exceed the director’s training or competence, when the directee would benefit from psychotherapy, psychiatric care, or specialized pastoral care, when the direction relationship is not bearing fruit after a reasonable period, when boundary complications arise that cannot be adequately managed, or when the directee requests a different director.
B. Maintaining a Referral Network
Directors should maintain a working referral network that includes other spiritual directors (with different specialties, traditions, or approaches), licensed therapists and counselors familiar with spiritual issues, pastoral counselors, crisis intervention resources, and medical professionals when appropriate. A well-maintained referral network is a sign of a responsible practice.
Key Principles
- Willingness to refer is a mark of professional maturity
- The directee’s welfare always takes priority over the director’s attachment to the relationship
- Directors maintain a working referral network of other professionals
- Financial considerations must never delay or prevent a necessary referral
Supervision and Accountability
No director should practice in isolation. Supervision is the relational structure through which directors reflect on their practice, process their own reactions, identify blind spots, and maintain the quality and integrity of their work. It is not a sign of weakness — it is a sign of professional responsibility.
Directors listed on this site commit to receiving regular supervision from a qualified supervisor or peer supervision group. Supervision should include reflection on the direction relationships, attention to countertransference and personal material, ethical discernment, and spiritual companionship for the director’s own soul.
A. Supervision Requirements
Directors should engage in supervision at least monthly — either with an individual supervisor or in a peer supervision group led by an experienced facilitator. Supervision should include presentation of direction cases (with appropriate confidentiality protections), exploration of the director’s own emotional and spiritual responses, ethical consultation, and attention to the director’s own formation.
B. Accountability Structures
Beyond supervision, directors should have additional accountability structures in place. These may include membership in professional organizations (such as Spiritual Directors International or the Retreat Association), accountability partnerships with fellow directors, regular self-evaluation, and participation in ongoing formation communities. Isolation is a risk factor for ethical failure.
Key Principles
- Regular supervision is required, not optional
- Supervision includes reflection on practice, countertransference, and ethics
- Directors should participate in additional accountability structures
- Isolation is a risk factor for ethical failure
Fees, Accessibility, and Justice
Spiritual direction is a ministry, and directors deserve to be compensated fairly for their training, time, and skill. At the same time, spiritual accompaniment must not become a luxury available only to those who can afford it. Directors must navigate the tension between fair compensation and broad accessibility with integrity and creativity.
The history of spiritual direction includes a long tradition of gratuitous offering — direction given freely as a gift of the Spirit. While professional realities have changed, the spirit of generosity and accessibility should remain central to every director’s practice.
A. Fee Transparency
Directors must clearly communicate their fee structure before direction begins. This includes the session fee, payment methods accepted, cancellation policies, and any changes to fees. There should be no hidden costs or surprise charges. Fees should be discussed openly and without embarrassment — it is part of establishing a healthy professional relationship.
B. Sliding Scale and Accessibility
Directors are strongly encouraged to offer a sliding scale or reduced-fee options for directees who cannot afford full fees. Some directors set aside a portion of their practice for pro bono work. Others partner with parishes, retreat centers, or nonprofits to subsidize direction for those in financial need. Whatever the model, directors should make some provision for accessibility.
C. No Financial Exploitation
Directors must not exploit the vulnerability of the direction relationship for financial gain. This includes pressuring directees to purchase additional services, courses, retreats, or materials; extending the direction relationship unnecessarily for financial reasons; or charging fees that are significantly above the norm for the director’s region and experience level without clear justification.
Key Principles
- Fee structures must be transparent and communicated before direction begins
- Directors are encouraged to offer sliding scale or reduced-fee options
- Spiritual direction must not become a luxury only the wealthy can access
- Financial exploitation of the direction relationship is prohibited
Cultural Sensitivity and Humility
The body of Christ is beautifully diverse. Directees come from every cultural background, ethnicity, language, and social location. Directors must approach this diversity with genuine humility, curiosity, and a willingness to learn. Cultural competence is not a box to check — it is a lifelong posture of listening and growth.
A director who is culturally insensitive can do real harm, even unintentionally. Assumptions about a directee’s experience based on their race, ethnicity, gender, age, or social class can rupture trust and distort the direction relationship. Directors must do their own work in this area and bring cultural questions to supervision.
A. Cultural Competence
Directors should seek training and formation in cultural competence, including awareness of their own cultural lenses and biases, understanding of how culture shapes spirituality and the experience of God, and sensitivity to the particular spiritual needs of communities that have experienced marginalization, oppression, or trauma.
B. Language and Communication
When possible, directors should offer direction in the directee’s preferred language. When language barriers exist, directors should be transparent about limitations and, when appropriate, refer to a director who shares the directee’s linguistic and cultural context. Spiritual direction is an art of nuance — language matters deeply.
C. Gender, Power, and Intersectionality
Directors must be attentive to the ways gender, power, race, and other dimensions of identity shape the direction relationship. A male director working with a female directee, a white director working with a directee of color, a clergy director working with a lay directee — each of these dynamics carries particular power implications that must be acknowledged and navigated with care.
Key Principles
- Cultural competence is a lifelong posture, not a credential
- Directors must examine their own cultural lenses and biases
- Language and communication barriers should be acknowledged honestly
- Power dynamics related to gender, race, and status must be navigated with care
The Director’s Own Spiritual Life
A spiritual director who is not tending to their own spiritual life is like a well that has run dry. The quality of a director’s presence, listening, and discernment flows directly from the depth of their own relationship with God. Directors must not allow the demands of their practice to crowd out their own prayer, worship, rest, and spiritual companionship.
This is not a luxury — it is a professional and ethical obligation. A director who is spiritually depleted cannot offer the quality of presence that directees deserve. Burnout, compassion fatigue, and spiritual dryness are occupational hazards of this ministry, and directors must be proactive in addressing them.
A. Receiving Direction
Directors who accompany others should themselves be accompanied. Receiving one’s own spiritual direction is essential to maintaining the health, integrity, and depth of the director’s practice. It keeps the director honest, grounded, and connected to the experience of being a directee.
B. Prayer Life and Worship
Directors should maintain a regular practice of prayer and participate in the worshiping life of a Christian community. The specifics will vary by tradition — the Daily Office, the Rosary, centering prayer, lectio divina, charismatic worship, the Jesus Prayer. What matters is that the director’s relationship with God is alive, active, and nourished.
C. Rest and Sabbath
Directors must honor their own need for rest, recreation, and sabbath. Holding space for others’ spiritual journeys is demanding work. Directors who do not rest risk burnout, resentment, and diminished capacity to be present to their directees. A well-rested director is a gift to every directee they serve.
Key Principles
- Directors must receive their own spiritual direction
- A regular prayer life and participation in worship are essential
- Rest and sabbath are professional obligations, not indulgences
- A depleted director cannot offer the presence directees deserve
Non-Exploitation
The spiritual direction relationship carries inherent power. The directee comes in vulnerability, shares their deepest spiritual experiences, and looks to the director for wisdom and companionship. This trust must never be exploited — not for personal gratification, ideological purposes, institutional loyalty, or financial gain.
Exploitation in spiritual direction can be subtle. It does not always look like overt manipulation. It can take the form of spiritual elitism, ideological pressure, institutional gatekeeping, or the quiet cultivation of dependence. Directors must be vigilant against all forms of exploitation and bring any concerns to supervision.
A. Spiritual Manipulation
Directors must not use their position to claim special spiritual authority over the directee, suggest that the directee’s spiritual welfare depends on obedience to the director, use spiritual language to justify control or manipulation, or foster a sense of spiritual superiority or exclusivity. The director is a companion, not a guru.
B. Ideological Coercion
Directors must not use the direction relationship to recruit directees to political causes, social movements, or ideological positions. While spiritual direction may naturally touch on issues of justice, vocation, and public life, the director’s role is to help the directee discern — not to provide the answer. The directee’s conscience must be respected.
C. Institutional Loyalty vs. Directee Welfare
When a director is employed by or affiliated with a church, diocese, religious order, or organization, their primary obligation in the direction relationship is to the directee — not to the institution. If a directee’s discernment leads them away from the director’s institution, the director must honor that discernment. Institutional loyalty must never override the directee’s welfare.
Key Principles
- The director is a companion, not a guru or authority figure
- Spiritual manipulation and coercion are grave violations of trust
- Directors must not recruit directees to political or ideological causes
- The directee’s welfare always takes precedence over institutional loyalty
Termination
Every spiritual direction relationship will eventually come to an end. This may happen naturally, as the directee moves into a new season of life, or it may happen because the relationship is no longer fruitful, because the directee’s needs have changed, or because a boundary concern has arisen. How the relationship ends matters as much as how it begins.
Directors must be attentive to the dynamics of ending and ensure that termination is handled with the same care, respect, and intentionality as the rest of the relationship. Abrupt, unexplained endings can be harmful — especially to directees who have experienced abandonment or relational trauma.
A. The Directee’s Right to End
The directee has the absolute right to end the direction relationship at any time, for any reason, without owing the director an explanation. Directors must not pressure directees to continue, express displeasure at the decision, or make the directee feel guilty for leaving. The directee’s freedom is paramount.
B. The Director’s Responsibility
There are times when the director has a responsibility to initiate termination or transition. This includes situations where the director’s competence is exceeded, where a boundary concern has arisen, where the relationship has become stuck or harmful, or where the director is retiring, relocating, or stepping away from practice. In all cases, the director should provide adequate notice and offer referrals.
C. Ending Well
When a direction relationship ends, the director should offer a closing conversation that honors the journey, acknowledges what has been shared, and provides space for gratitude, grief, or unfinished business. The ending of a direction relationship can itself be a moment of spiritual growth — if it is handled with care.
Key Principles
- The directee may end the relationship at any time, without explanation
- Directors must never pressure directees to continue
- When the director ends the relationship, adequate notice and referrals are required
- Endings should be honored as potentially sacred moments of growth
Accountability, Concerns, and Resolution
This Code is not merely aspirational. Every director listed on FindSpiritualDirector.com has affirmed this Code and agreed to be held accountable to it. Accountability is not punitive — it is protective. It protects directees, it protects directors, and it protects the integrity of the ministry of spiritual direction.
When concerns arise, they should be addressed promptly, fairly, and with a commitment to both truth and compassion. The goal is not to punish but to restore — and when restoration is not possible, to protect those who are vulnerable.
A. Affirmation of the Code
Every director listed on this site has read this Code of Accompaniment in full and has affirmed it as a condition of their listing. By doing so, they agree to be held accountable to its principles and to cooperate in good faith with any inquiry or discernment process that may arise.
B. Raising Concerns
Any person — directee, fellow director, supervisor, or member of the public — may raise a concern about a listed director by contacting FindSpiritualDirector.com. Concerns will be received with care and confidentiality. The person raising the concern will not be retaliated against.
C. Discernment Panel
When a concern is raised, FindSpiritualDirector.com will convene a discernment panel of experienced spiritual directors and pastoral professionals to review the concern. The panel will seek to understand the situation fully, consult with all relevant parties, and make a recommendation that prioritizes the safety of directees and the integrity of the ministry. Possible outcomes include continued listing, additional supervision requirements, temporary suspension, or permanent removal from the directory.
Key Principles
- Every listed director has affirmed this Code and agreed to be held accountable
- Any person may raise a concern — confidentially and without retaliation
- A discernment panel of experienced directors reviews all concerns
- The safety of directees and the integrity of the ministry are the highest priorities
A Final Word
This Code of Accompaniment is a living document. It reflects the best of what we know today about the ethics of spiritual direction, and it will continue to evolve as the field grows and as new challenges emerge. We welcome feedback from directors, directees, supervisors, and the wider spiritual direction community.
The ultimate standard against which all spiritual direction is measured is not any code, policy, or professional guideline. It is the love of God — poured out in Christ, made present by the Holy Spirit, and offered freely to every soul who seeks it. May this Code serve that love.
Sources and Inspiration: This Code draws on the ethical guidelines of Spiritual Directors International (SDI), the work of the Shalem Institute for Spiritual Formation, the ethical frameworks of the Association of Professional Chaplains, the Code of Ethics of the American Association of Pastoral Counselors, and the broader tradition of Christian moral theology. It has been adapted for the particular context of an ecumenical online directory.
Ready to Affirm This Code?
Every director in our directory has affirmed the Code of Accompaniment. If you are a trained spiritual director ready to commit to these standards, we invite you to apply.